Description
Biting another child is one of the more
unacceptable, aggressive behaviors in our society. The parent of the
child who has been bitten is usually upset and worried about the risk of
infection. If biting happens in a day care setting, the other parents
may want the biter to be expelled. If it happens in someone else's home,
the child is often told never to return. Adults tend to forget that some
biting behavior in a group of toddlers is to be expected.
Causes
Children usually discover biting by
chance when they are about 1 year old and teething. Most children first
learn to bite by biting their parents in a playful manner. It is
important to try to interrupt this primitive behavior at this early
stage. The biting often continues because the parents initially think it
is cute and the child considers it a game to get attention.
Later, children may bite when they are
frustrated and want something from another child. At an age when
children have minimal verbal skills, biting becomes a primitive form of
communication. Only after a child is 2 or 3 years old does biting become
a deliberate way to express anger and intimidate others.
Recommendations
- Establish a rule: "We never
bite people."
Give your child a reason for the
rule, namely that biting hurts.
Other reasons (that won't interest
a young child) are that bites can lead to infection or scarring.
- Suggest a safe alternative behavior.
Tell your child that if he wants
something he should come to you and ask for help or point to it. He
should not bite the person who has it. If your child bites when he
is angry, tell him, "If you are mad, come to me and tell me
before you bite anyone."
If your child is at the chewing age
(usually less than 18 months), help him choose a toy that he can
bite rather than tell him that he cannot bite anything. A firm toy
or teething ring will do. Encourage him to carry his
"chewy" with him for a few days.
- Interrupt biting with a sharp
"No."
Be sure to use an unfriendly voice
and look your child straight in the eye. Try to interrupt her when
she looks as if she might bite someone before she actually does it.
Especially close supervision of your child may be necessary until
you are sure she will no longer bite people.
- Give your child a time-out when he
bites people.
Send him to a boring place for
approximately one minute per year of age.
If he tries to bite you while you
are holding him, say "No." Always put him down immediately
and walk away (a form of time-out). If time-out does not work, take
away a favorite toy for the rest of the day.
- Never bite your child for biting
someone else.
Biting back will make your child
upset that you hurt her and may teach her that it is okay to bite if
you are bigger. Also do not wash your child's mouth out with soap,
pinch or pop her cheek, or slap her mouth. In fact, if your child
tends to be aggressive, avoid physical punishment in general (for
example, spanking).
Also eliminate
"love-bites" because your child will not understand how
they are different from painful biting.
- Praise your child for not biting.
Praise your child especially when
he is in situations in which he used to bite or when he is with
children whom he used to bite. Remind your child gently not to bite
before before you embark on a high-risk visit. Then if he doesn't
bite, praise him afterward for good behavior.
- Biting in child care settings.
Biting behavior is common in child
care settings. The preceding approach should be used by day care
staff to eliminate the behavior in their setting. Provide careful
supervision and quickly place the biting child in time-out, even
when he acts like he might bite someone. In general biting is
harmless since most bites by younger children don't puncture the
skin. Calling the parent at work is pointless since the problem
should be dealt with immediately by whomever witnesses it.
Prevention
The best time to stop biting behavior
from becoming a habit is when the biting first starts. Be sure that no
one laughs when your child bites and that no one, including older
siblings, treats biting as a game. Also never give in to your child's
demands because of biting. Make sure that day care providers understand
your approach and are willing to follow it.
Call Your Child's
Physician Immediately If:
- Biting causes a puncture or a cut
that completely breaks the skin.
Call Your Child's
Physician During Office Hours If:
- Biting behavior lasts for more than
4 weeks after you have begun using the approach outlined here.
- Your child bites or hurts himself.
- Your child has several other
behavioral problems.
- You have other questions or
concerns.